Disclaimer: This post is written mainly for women because it is something I have experienced and wondered if anyone else had. However, I am not really sure if guys have encountered this scenario or if it bothers them as much as it bothers me. Anyhow, I hope this entry is inspiring for anyone who reads it.
Picture this for a moment, if you will. Maybe you are out to eat with your family. Or you are just hanging out. Maybe you are trying to enjoy a slice of awesome chocolate cake. Or, maybe you are at a social function. It could happen anywhere, really.
All of a sudden, someone makes the comment.
Sometimes I can predict who will say this comment, but other times the person is sneaky about it. He (or she) will wait until you are minding your own business to spring it on you.
But you know it’s coming eventually.
Wait for it.
Wait for it.
And then it comes.
“So, how come you are not dating anyone?”
Ah. My favorite question. Haha. Not.
Of course, there is my personal favorite—the blunt version. “When are you going to find a boyfriend? Don’t you think you should find one soon?”
Hello! It’s not like I can just go to K-Mart and put a guy on Layaway.
I never know how to gracefully respond to these comments. How do people want me you to react to that? Do they even want an answer?
Somehow just responding with my standard answer “Um, I don’t know?” is just not satisfying. And wailing, “Ugh. There are no good guys left. Is there something wrong with me!!!” seems a tad desperate. All you get with that response is a “I feel sorry for you” pat on the shoulder, a sympathetic look, and a soothing, “Nothing is wrong with you. You just haven’t found the right guy yet.”
Come on girls. I am sure we have all wished at some point that we could just think really hard and we could will a wonderful guy to appear out of thin air. But, alas, I have tried this and it doesn’t work. (If it has worked for you, then please let me know because we could patent that jewel and sell it).
And what about those who say, “You are looking too hard. Just wait for love and it will come to you.”
Ha. Easier said than done. What does this even mean? I am just going to be going along in life and one day I will physically trip over a guy? This hasn’t happened for me yet, and believe it when I say that if anyone would trip over something, it would be me.
It’s a vicious cycle, and that’s a fact. It’s enough to make a girl want to give up on dating all together and just buy herself a puppy to keep her company so she doesn’t have to come home to an empty house. Or to join a convent and become the first Baptist nun. (Yes, I have threatened that before.)
So, what’s a girl to do?
Let me first say that I am by no means a dating expert, and I struggle with this so much. But, I am trying to learn, so here it goes.
I think that looking for love isn’t a bad thing. You need to keep yourself open to the idea, but it shouldn’t be an all-consuming thing either. Easier said than done, of course. How, you might ask, do you not let something consume your thoughts when you want it so badly? The best advice I have to give is to pray about it. Tell God what you are feeling, and give him your frustrations. He can handle it. He is an awesome God.
Single gals should not put their lives on hold waiting for a guy. But neither should they close themselves off from the possibilities of love. Instead, they need to live, yet keep the hope of love alive.
So, try for that dream job even though you feel it is impossible to get. Go back to school if you wish. Take up a hobby. Travel to cool destinations. Eat chocolate. Buy yourself flowers. Enjoy life. LIVE!!!!!
Most importantly think about how you make a positive impact on the world and benefit others. Volunteering is an excellent way to accomplish this. As a very wise person once told me this when I was feeling sorry for myself one day- “Snap out of this, look beyond yourself, and see how you can help others.”
When I think about how I feel when someone makes these comments to me, I also try to remember what my good friend said when I was talking to her about this very thing. “Meagan,” she said. “We have God, and if it’s right, we will meet nice guys one day. Either way, we’re good.”
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